Building up resilience

Valentina Roman
2 min readJun 1, 2020


„What are the triggers that change your mood, those things that disturb your inner balance?” someone smartly asked me the other days and it had me wondering since then.

Falsehood, hypocrisy, unkindness and injustice are things that bug me. So, I learned to shield them as possible by surrounding myself with things I enjoy and people I appreciate.

On the professional side, I really had quite some experiences that kept me awake at night and taught me a lot:

  • One of my managers that I really admired and considered a mentor died of cancer. I had to write a press release about this and organise a private event in his memory. It was devastating.
  • Some funds were cut off from a project I was managing. I had to readjust all the details from scratch. Team budget, logistics, service providers… all.
  • A fight began between two of my key teammates just a day before an essential phase of a project. I spent the night talking with them, and in the end, we succeeded together.
  • I had to fire a subordinate that was lazy and rude. I spent an entire night thinking on the way to communicate with empathy and offer alternative solutions.

For each of these happenings and many others like them, I’ve experienced different kinds of feelings. But, without even knowing, they built my resilience and fuelled my growth. I’ve learned that positive thinking does not mean ignoring problems, but understanding the setbacks and train skills to combat them.

A crisis or changing situations can be daunting. And they don’t go away by simply waiting. Researchers say that some people are born resilient, but I think this behaviour can also be learned. And I am proof. Scanning possible solutions and breaking them down into manageable steps are my ways of coping.

For the ones reading this, what are your secrets?

Photo by StockSnap from Pixabay



Valentina Roman

Project manager from Romania ☀️ Travelling through life as a journey of learning ✈️